Social media, technology and tweens / teens!

Written by Claire Burgess

Managing social media and technology use with teenagers is a well known challenge for many parents and in recent months, there’s been growing concern in the media about the impact of social media on young people’s mental health and wellbeing. Heartbreaking stories have reminded us all just how powerful, and potentially harmful, these platforms can be when young users aren’t supported in navigating them safely. As parents and carers, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed or anxious about how to protect our tweens and teens online, especially as they begin to explore more of the digital world independently. But with the right strategies and open conversations, it is possible to create a supportive framework that helps them build confidence, make safe choices, and feel able to come to us if something feels wrong.

Here are some tips to help guide you through.

Start the conversation early
Introduce discussions about social media and technology use as early as possible. Even if you're unfamiliar with the platforms and social media tweens and teens use, make a point of trying to learn about them. This not only helps you stay informed but also signals to your children that you’re interested in their world. These early, natural conversations form the basis for open communication as they grow.

Keep the lines of communication open Let your child(ren) know they can talk to you about anything they encounter online, even if it makes them feel uncomfortable. Sometimes the best conversations happen naturally, like during a car ride, on a walk, even while doing chores together, times when they’re not focused on their devices.

It is important to reassure your child(ren) that you won’t be cross with them if they share difficult experiences with you or feel they have done something wrong online. Look out for any changes in their mood or behaviour that might indicate something is troubling them online.

Decide on device ownership as a family
Determining when to give your child(ren) their own device is a personal decision that depends on your family’s values and your child(ren)’s maturity. Peer pressure can play a big role, so have an open discussion as a family to weigh up the pros and cons. Involving your child(ren) in the decision-making process helps them feel respected and heard.

The number of devices at home can quickly multiply especially if you have more than one child or multiples, making it even more important to encourage sharing and mindful screen use. If your children have to share a device, it’s good to work with them to decide on specific time slots for each of them – this can help prevent arguments over whose turn it is. If each child has their own device, creating screen time rules such as limits on usage and the types of content they can access will help to keep screen time manageable. Encouraging screen use together, perhaps watching a film together or playing multiplayer (educational) games, can help to turn screen time into a bonding shared experience rather than an isolating activity.

Set up devices together
When your children are ready for their own devices, work with them to get them set up. This ensures you can implement age-appropriate privacy settings from the start. If you’re unsure how to do this, ask a friend, research online, or consult your children’s school for guidance. Being actively involved shows your child(ren) that technology is a shared responsibility.

Lead by example
Your child(ren) learn from the way you use technology. Model healthy habits by setting boundaries for your own screen time, prioritise face-to-face time with them and friends / family.

Highlight the positives
Social media isn’t all bad. It can foster creativity, connection, and learning. Talk to your child(ren) about this and encourage them to use technology in ways that enhance their lives. For more on the benefits of social media, read our blog, (written by a social media using teen) here.

Collaborate with schools
Schools play a significant role in teaching children about online safety. Find out what lessons your children are receiving at school, and back these up with conversations at home. Emphasise to your child(ren) the importance of thinking before posting, and remind them that online content can last forever, especially if someone takes a screenshot or shares it.

Be a good listener
When your child(ren) talk about gaming, social media, or other online activities, try to show a genuine interest in what they’re saying, even if the topic isn’t really of interest to you. Feeling heard will encourage your children to keep communicating with you, building trust over time.

Encourage responsibility and awareness
Teach your children about online privacy and the importance of thinking about what they share (before they share it!). Help them to understand the potential long-term consequences of their online actions and reassure them that they can always come to you for advice without fear of judgment.

Fake news and critical thinking
Often, someone assertively stating their opinion online can make people (even adults) automatically assume it is factual! Encourage your child(ren) to think critically about things they see on social media, especially with an increasing amount of political discussion online. Let them know that they can always ask you questions if they are curious about something they have seen, but equally help them to check for themselves, for example ensuring that the source is reputable and looking for opposing views to get a balanced perspective.

Insights from 'Swiped: The School That Banned Smartphones'
The Channel 4 documentary 'Swiped: The School That Banned Smartphones' explored the impact of smartphone use among Year 8 pupils at The Stanway School in Colchester. The students participated in a 21-day experiment without smartphones, monitored by researchers from the University of York.

The results were revealed in the second episode of the series and include:

Children reported getting, on average, one more hour of sleep each night – and reported falling asleep more quickly. This was verified by wearable sleep trackers.

Children reported a 17% reduction in feelings related to depression and an 18% reduction in feelings related to anxiety, feeling generally less upset and nervous. Children’s heart rate variability also improved (a positive sign of wellbeing)

They didn’t feel any less socially connected during the ban, but instead commented on having richer interactions with their parents and friends.

17% of children were on their phones for 6 hours+ per day – more time than is spent in school.

Source: Navigating the Digital Jungle

This programme is well worth a watch; it highlights the pervasive nature of smartphone use among teenagers and highlights the importance of parental involvement in managing technology use.

By starting conversations early, leading by example, and creating a safe environment for your child(ren) to talk to you, you can empower your child(ren) to use social media and technology in healthy, responsible ways

While you are here why not check out our video guides on various topics including behaviour, sleep, teens and tweens and more - for information - click here

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