What to look for when choosing a nursery and how to prepare your child/ren (and you) for their first day!
Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant
There are lots of different types of nurseries to choose from – large, small, independent, chain, attached to a school, forest school, Montessori etc. You need to think about what type of nursery will best suit you and your child. Another key thing to consider is location – will you, for example, have enough time to drop off and pick up before going to work? Can you walk to the nursery if this is something that would work for you?
It is worth creating a shortlist of nurseries which you want to consider and book in to have a visit with them. Talk to other parents about which nurseries they would recommend to help with your decision as well as looking at the Ofsted reports. You can look online to see what people are saying in relation to nurseries in your area, however, remember it is all about personal choice and what one parent likes for their child might not be what you would want or be right for your child. Visiting and getting a feel for the nursery yourself is essential.
When you visit the nurseries consider how it feels when you first walk in. Are the staff friendly and welcoming? Do the children (and the babies) seem well stimulated and engaged by staff and in their activities or do the older children all rush over to you? If you are a multiple birth family you will need to know that the nursery understand and respect the special relationship that multiples have, so ask questions specifically about how they will meet the needs of your children.
When you are taken on a tour of the nursery don’t be afraid to ask questions, but also note the interaction of the person taking the tour with the children. The children should always be the most important thing to them, so you should expect to be interrupted by your tour guide interacting with the children as you move round the nursery. If you take your child with you, look at how the staff interact with them and also how your child interacts with the environment. Do they want to go off and play for example?
Here are some suggestions for questions you can ask or find out from the nursery website, which will help to give you a feeling as to whether this nursery is right for you:
What does a typical day at nursery look like?
How is the settling in process managed? What happens if your child doesn’t settle straight away?
How will you be updated on your child’s progress?
Where do they eat? What do they eat (ask to see a menu – does it have a good selection of fresh fruit and vegetables)? Is the food cooked on the premises? Does it cater for allergies or dietary needs if applicable to your child?
How often do the children get outside?
Do the children get to go out of the nursery and if so where? Do they have other visitors or different classes that come to the nursery? If so, do these incur additional costs and what is the process for booking them?
Do they have events through the year and what are they? e.g. nativity, parent stay and play sessions.
Is the outdoor area and equipment well kept?
Are the children ‘free flow’ or in allocated age appropriate rooms? How many children are in each room and what are the staff to child ratios?
What does the nursery supply and what do you need to supply (e.g. nappies etc)?
How does the nursery support children with additional needs?
How does the nursery manage behaviour?
Ask the staff who are interacting with the children what is going on and what the children are doing – you should hope to get an answer which talks about what and how the children are learning through their play rather than saying that they are “just playing”.
Where do the children sleep? Are there scheduled nap times or does the nursery try to replicate your routine at home?
If you are visiting a nursery with a themed element e.g. Forest School, Montessori etc. how does this work and does it fit with what you want for your child?
Does the building look well kept, safe and secure?
Does the equipment look of good quality and in good condition? Is it made of mostly natural materials offering open ended opportunities for the children to play or is it all plastic?
How are the staff qualified?
How many of the staff have paediatric first aid training?
How long has the manager been there? Where did they come from before this job?
Is the person showing you round the manager? If not ask to speak to the manager if possible to get an idea of how hands on and involved they are.
What happens in an emergency?
What is the parking like? This can be really challenging at some nurseries and it can cause stress when doing drop offs and pick-ups for some.
Preparing your children for nursery
Once you have made your decision regarding the nursery it is then important that your children are prepared and ready for the transition from home to their new adventure of nursery.
Settling-in sessions
The nursery you have chosen will have a ‘settling-in process’ and this varies from nursery to nursery. Some will do a ‘home visit’ where your child/ren’s key person (a member of staff who is assigned to your children and will be your main point of contact and whom will provide the day to day care for your children) will come to your house to see your children in their home environment and to help develop a relationship with them before starting at the nursery.
Further to this many nurseries will have a process in place where you will go to the nursery and stay with your children initially and then, over a period of visits, you will leave for an hour or so and gradually increase so that it is a gentle transition for you and your children.
Preparation starts at home
At home, talk about starting nursery and make this positive, introduce books that talk about it (see below for some suggestions), whilst also discussing the activities that they are going to be doing. If you live locally to the nursery then try to walk or drive past it regularly and talk about what your child is going to be doing there - if you know the staff or any of the children who attend use their names so that these become familiar.
It is completely normal for children to be apprehensive as it can be a big change for them. It is very unusual for children to start nursery and not have any tears or wobbly moments, but the staff will have dealt with this before and so follow their suggestions on how to approach and deal with this. If your child has a comforter such as a dummy, blanket or special toy this might be something that they will need to help them with the transition from home to nursery – just remember to have several of the same comforter just in case you leave them at nursery or they get lost!
If you know other children who attend the nursery or who are going to start then try do some playdates with them prior to starting and once they have started. Seeing familiar faces when they are then at nursery can help and making the connection with people both inside and outside of nursery can offer a level of reassurance and familiarity.
Adjusting to nursery is individual to the child, some will find it easy whilst others will take time to get used to the other children, staff and routine. Just think about how it feels when you start a new job, all those emotions can be the same for your child when starting nursery.
My First Day at Nursery School
And Finally - Preparing yourself for your child starting nursery
This might seem like a strange section to have in, but it is just as important that you are prepared for your little one to start nursery as it is for your little one. This is a big moment for you, you are entrusting your little one with people you don’t know and to an environment which you are not all that familiar with. Our children are very intuitive to our emotions and how we might be reacting to a situation, so it is important that we are aware of our body language and how we react.
Here are some things you can do to help with the transition:
Try to leave your child with friend or family member for an hour or so before you start to leave them at nursery, this will help you to adjust to the separation (with people you trust) and will also help your child to understand this.
If you feel that you don’t have all the information you need before starting nursery, don’t be afraid to ask the nursery for what you need to know. The more confident and at ease you are with the process, the more relaxed your little one will be too.
During the settling in visits try to plan something to do when you drop your little one off, this might be meeting a friend for coffee, doing the supermarket shop or going for a walk. Have a plan of something to do so that it distracts you during this time.
Starting anything new can be difficult for all of us, but it is another step in your child’s development and, as long as you do your research before choosing a nursery and, when you have, making sure that you are prepared to start it should be an enjoyable and rewarding time for you both.
While you are here have a look at our video guides on various topics including behaviour, sleep, play, toilet training and more - for information - click here.
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