That ‘back to school’ feeling…
Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant
It might not feel like it when we are only a few weeks into the holidays, but it’s that time of the year where everyone is thinking and talking about ‘starting school’! When I was planning this blog I was going to cover the usual things to think about when you child is about to start school for the first time, but then realised that even if your child is already at school – be it primary or secondary – they experience very similar emotions and uncertainty about going into a new school year…it isn’t just about starting school. We all remember that ‘back to school’ feeling (some people still experience this as adults, for example returning to work after a holiday or worse still after a weekend!) and we are never going to stop this completely for our children (nor should we), but there are certainly things that we can do to help make it a little bit easier.
6 ways to tackle that back to school feeling!
1. Don’t leave it until the last minute! Very often, as the holidays come to an end, we start to gear up for the return to school as we know that there isn’t much time left to get things ready. Our children on the other hand don’t have that sense of time and understanding, so it can often come as a shock when there is a crazy ‘return to school’ rush sorting uniforms, buying new school shoes, sorting out pencil cases and stationary etc. Even our older children tend to put it to the back of their minds and this can then put them into a spin for going back. Have a calendar which shows visually when they are going back to school and use this throughout the holidays to refer to – you can mark on the fun holiday things you are doing but also show the lead up to going back to school. A week before school is due to start, try to regain some routine, for example getting up in the mornings, having a structure to the day and pulling bedtimes back to a reasonable time so that when that first morning at school comes along it won’t be as much of a shock to the system…for all of you!
2. Know what to expect –As your child is moving up through the school, do you know what to expect from the new school year? What is expected of your child? For example will they be having exams in certain subjects or are they going to be going on school trips overnight etc? These are all things that you need to be aware of so that you can be prepared, informed and able to help support and explain to your child what is going to be happening.
3. Organise playdates (younger children) or days out/gatherings (older children) –If you are able to organise times over the holiday period when your child is able to see children from school it will help to maintain those relationships which are so vitally important.
4. Let them have some choice -Make it fun when talking about going back to school. Let them make choices about things like their new school bag for example and try to stagger the purchasing of these things over the holiday period (see point 1 above!). Get them involved in choosing the activities they would like to do before going back to school so that they have had some ownership of the holidays. This will help to make them feel that they have had fun over the holidays doing things they enjoy before heading back to school. It also gives them things to talk about when they are back at school with their friends!
5. Create opportunities to talk – Some children can become worried or anxious about things which we might not even think about, such as what happens at playtime, what happens at lunchtime, what if I don’t know what to do etc. Creating time and opportunities for your child to open up about what might be worrying them or alternatively what they are excited about, will be beneficial to both of you. Conversations when you are in the car, on a walk or maybe having a quiet time on the sofa can often be the times when your child might open up about what they are thinking or worrying about. Try not to ‘solve’ or undermine the worries that your child might have, talk to them and see if they have any ideas on how they might be able to make it better or to help them not to worry about it so much. Talking them through the situations, listening and letting them come up with ideas will not only give them skills for life, but will also help them manage situations much more effectively when they are faced with them at school.
6. Talk about what is planned for the future – often children can feel that going back to school is the end of all the nice things and that they are not going to have any more fun. Talk about what you have got planned for the afternoon on their first day back, for example, you might get them to choose what they have for dinner, or you could take them to the park for a play before heading home. Then, look at and talk about the weekend after they have started back at school and what you might have planned, maybe a special breakfast or playing a certain game together. You can even look further ahead to the next holidays and what you might want to plan to do! Having fun things to look forward to will always help with the thought of going back to school if this is something that your child struggles with.
Some children love school and can’t wait to get back after the holidays and there are others who much prefer to be at home and find the return to school very difficult. This is often down to individual personalities and you won’t change this but by following some of my tips above you might all find it a bit easier.
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